Monday, April 5, 2010

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 5

Morning Ladies!

I LOVE day 5 of this challenge. It is something that we keep in mind in our home and marriage.

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this "30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify", which means, "to build up". Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.

Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important with other family members.

Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

This is right in line with what we learned in our Nearly Wed class that we took at The Met when we were engaged. The urged us to not speak ill about one another to our families. I know it's so easy to vent to your Mom, (who, if you are like me, is your best friend and advice giver), but it is really not fair to our husbands or our families. When you have a disagreement with your spouse - you make up. You say you are sorry, you hug it out, or do nice things for one another to resolve the argument. Even if you call your family and tell them that everything is fine, they do not get to experience the feelings associated with this "making up" process. They will usually become defensive of you, or for you, and will hold this situation with them. Eventually, many of these situations will build up and it will damage their relationship with your spouse. It's not fair for your spouse to have to make up with you mom or dad for something that was between the two of you. And, it's not fair for your family to have all these weird defensive feelings associated with your spouse. We take this to heart and do not share our disagreements with our families. Of course, if there is abuse, emotional or otherwise, that is an entirely different situation. Just remember - you will forgive your spouse and move on. Your family does not always have this opportunity.

In regards to making sure that your husband's family knows how much you love and respect him - remember that they raised him. They made him the man that he is today. He probably has some strong traits that they both possess - good or bad. When you speak ill of him to them, it is an attack on how they raised their son, and sometimes an attack on their personality traits as well. Just something to keep in mind before you go venting to your in laws : )

And remember, you Chose him - faults and all!

Okay, I'm off my soap box. Sorry for the long detail : )

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