Wednesday, April 14, 2010

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 9

Day 9 -

"Be swift to hear, slow to speak...." James 1:19b

We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen.  We are so quick to offer a comment-negative or positive-that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart.  Remember, we have two ears and only one mouth.  We need to listen more!

As you continue in your 30-day challenge, hear the Lord's admonition: "Be swift to hear".

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself.  See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question.  If your husband notices a difference, explain that you are learning to listen more--not only to God, but also to him.

One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response.  If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"

Hmm...this one is a little hard for me.  I listen to my husband, really I do.  But he talks A LOT.  Much more than the average guy.  He has a lot to say about a lot of things.  I am guilty of zoning out when he tells me a million stats or reasons that a player should be traded, or how a car works and why this new exciting expensive part that he wants for it will make our lives better.  I try, really, I do.  I don't know how I feel about the whole not saying anything for a whole day unless I'm asked.  I know that's the challenge, but I don't think I'm totally comfortable with that.  My husband loves me because I have ideas and opinions, and *most* of the time he is interested in them.  I make an effort not to bore him to death with gossip about work, or my friends, or my trip to the nail place, grocery store, etc.  I will try to listen better today, but this not talking unless spoken to is just not for me.  If you are going to give it a go - good luck!

I do have a useful piece of advice that we learned in our Nearly Wed class though - if you are in a conversation and all you can think about when the other person is talking is what you are going to say next - or that you wish they would stop talking so you can talk - you are NOT being a good listener and you need to stop, regroup, and listen to what they are saying.  We learned that it's okay to say, "I am so sorry, I missed part of what you said.  Could you please start over?".  This is said often in our house.  We try to practice this on a regular basis : )

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