Wednesday, April 28, 2010

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 17

Here is Day 17 of our challenge!

"And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."  Genesis 2:18

God says that it is not good for man to be alone.  But the way some women criticize their mates, their husbands may long for solitude.  Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly.

Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you?  God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being "one flesh" with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns.  Thank God for that wonderful gift.  Thank your husband for communicating with you.

If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him--smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant "grunt!"--and then thank him for letting you know that he cards.  Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate.  Be patient with him...and listen when he does speak.

Something I have learned over this first year of marriage is communication is HARD.  And, very important.  This part of our reading today  makes me laugh - "If your spouse does not communicate as you wish..."  Really??!!!  Does any woman ever think that he husband communicates with her perfectly and just like she wants him to??  If so, don't tell me, I don't want to know.  That will never be my world.  Men and women are just wired differently.  We need want to hear all kinds of things, and our poor husbands have no clue.  Hubby spent the first few months of our marriage telling me, "Babe, I am dumb when it comes to you.  I have no idea what I am supposed to say to you and when.  You have to tell me.  Please."  This made me so upset - I thought, he isn't dumb, I know I married a wonderful, smart man, why isn't he trying?  Well, he was, and still is.  And, he is getting better.  They don't know what we want them to say, and they certainly do not know exactly when they are supposed to say it.  They can't read our minds - and that's okay.  I can't read his (although I do think that it is easier to figure out than mine) and he doesn't expect me to.  We are a work in progress : )


Nicole-Lynn said...

I just wanted to tell you that I love reading these everyday! I am saving them in a word document and plan to start this when we get married and will be sending it to all my married friends. Thank you!

mjellis said...
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mjellis said...

Nicole, that makes me so happy! Thank you for sharing that. I enjoy these so much, and I am so very glad that you are enjoying them too!

Pam said...

OMG Michelle like I said when i first met you, You are one beautiful, spiritual and caring young woman I have ever met. I just sat and read all of the encouragement challenge to 17 and I am just blown away. What you shared with all and how you feel at such a young age is unbelieveable. I am so moved by the way you write about you and Jeff. He is also one lucky guy to have found you just as you are to him. By reading this and being married for over 30years, your blog has taught me some things. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. Your parents truly raised one remarkable young woman. Thank you for telling me about your blog and sharing your stories with me and everyone. God has truly blessed you and Jeff. Love you both Ms. Pam

mjellis said...

Pam, you are so sweet! You have me in tears, thank you so very much for the kind words!! I am so blessed to have someone so wonderful and encouraging in my life!