Those of you that have kiddos...how involved are your husbands? Those of you that don't have them...how do you picture your husbands as Daddys? Do you picture them getting up in the middle of the night, feeding them and rocking them? Being kind and considerate even on only a few hours of sleep? Changing all the diapers they possibly can?
I'm not sure what I pictured when I thought of hubby as a Daddy. I knew he would be kind and loving, but I wasn't sure how helpful he would be. He was the opposite of helpful when I was pregnant, and especially when I was on bedrest. So, I didn't really have any expectations.
But, I'm curious to hear what you all have to say. I'll start by sharing our experiences thus far -
Hubby is a very sweet Daddy. He loves to play with Jaxson, never shys away from feeding him a bottle or changing a diaper. He has gotten up early with me this week to help me get Jaxson ready while I get ready. He helps me clean bottles, wash baby clothes and clean the house. He is more than I can ask for on all of those levels.
Now, regarding sleep - it is a different story.
Night before Jaxson is born - I send hubby home to sleep because I know I will need him the next day. He doesn't do well on less than 8-9 hours of sleep (I know, I know...)
Jaxson's first night - Hubby sleeps in the hospital with us, and is very nice and doesn't complain when our nurse brings Jaxson to eat every couple of hours.
Jaxson's second night - Hubby decides he is too tired to do that again and my Mom stays in the hospital with me while he goes home to sleep, and then he returns at 10AM "better rested".
Jaxson's first week - My Mom and I did shifts so that both of us could get some sleep but still take good care of my sweet new baby. Hubby slept because he was ending his fiscal year at work and really needed to concentrate to make conference.
From then on...
I have been sleeping in the guest room. It made the most sense while I was on maternity leave. I mean, 1) I was breastfeeding and 2) I wasn't working, and hubby was.
Well, now maternity leave is over and I'm back to work. So, Sunday night, I moved back into our bedroom. It was nice. You should have seen hubby's face when I came in with the monitor. What? I can hear static. There's a light on it, why? The fourth time he woke me up to one of Jaxson's little sleep noises - I seriously considered leaving. I am used to all of those little noises that babies make when they sleep. Hubby, not having done anything night time related since he was born, is not. When Jaxson woke up at 4AM and I pulled him into bed with us to feed him, Hubby was beyond confused and couldn't go back to sleep. Clearly, we are not ready for this.
So, Hubby offered to move to the couch for a little while so he could get some sleep. I moved my stuff back into the guest room last night, there is no reason for him to sleep on the couch, I am comfortable in the guest room and it's close to the nursery.
But - here's my question - how long is it ok to sleep in separate beds after you have a baby? I refuse to let this become a habit and something that sticks. I miss sleeping with my husband and I know he misses me there too. Until we had Jaxson, we went to bed together every night.
Maybe we could sleep in our bed on the weekends to help him get used to the monitors and noises? Any ideas are more than welcome, and please, share your experiences with me!