So, hubby won a trip to the Bahamas for a reward for his performance at work last year. Whoo who! I am so proud of him. The best part is that I get to go too! Not for the whole trip, but for the second half when the other spouses get to go. Originally, we decided that I would go Thursday - Sunday. I thought three nights away from Jaxson wouldn't be such a big deal.
Well, yesterday, hubby called and said that we had to book our flights RIGHT.NOW. Apparently he "forgot" to tell me that there was a deadline and it was that day. Thanks babe. And then he informed me that he needed me to go Wednesday - Monday because his company wouldn't pay for the other days due to the increase in airfare prices. 6 days, 5 nights away from my 4 month old baby???? I totally lost it. I mean, lost it. Tears, tears and more tears. I just couldn't even entertain the idea of being away from him for that long. I haven't been away for him for more than a few hours since he was born. Will he wonder where I went? What if he gets really upset and no one can sooth him? Will he think I'm never coming back? What if he gets sick or scared?
I came up with a great solution - I would fly American Airlines and go through Dallas and meet my parents at the airport to drop off Jaxson. No good. The company was only offering to buy AirTran tickets. They don't have any flights through Dallas, only Atlanta. My mind was running...Daddy's corporate office is there, maybe he could pick him up...no Michelle, that is not reasonable...I knew that. Ugh. After crying for about 2 hours and hugging Jaxson like there was no tomorrow, and that I certainly wouldn't have a tomorrow with him (completely unreasonable, I know), I decided to go to the one person that I knew would help me - my Mom. She assured me that I was not crazy, that my feelings were completely normal, and that trips like this were important not only to my sanity, but my marriage. She said she would drive to Houston and keep him for me if I needed her to. She made me feel much better and assured me that I am a good mother, and that Jaxson will be just fine. I am so thankful for her.
So, I called Hubby and booked my flight. Then I held Jaxson through his nap and cried a little more. I think I'm a crazy person. I mean, who cries about getting to go to the Bahamas?
To you other Mommies out there, when did you first leave your little ones? Did you have a hard time with it? Or am I just unreasonably crazy?