Wednesday, April 21, 2010
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 13
"I am my beloved's and his desire is toward me." Song of Solomon 7:10
The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements--along with money and children--that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond.
Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover?" Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.
In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you. His desire is toward you.
Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 12
Day 12 -
"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise your husband for. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?
Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Proverbs 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas.
Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.
How sad that we give more grace to ohers than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.
I love this thought of self reflection. I'm not going to lie, our first year of marriage has had some challenges. I think of those women that say, marriage is wonderful and perfect - I wouldn't change anything! I usually do not believe them. I'm sure it happens sometimes, and I think our marriage is wonderful and I feel so blessed to have found my hubby, but we are not perfect - neither one of us is! A few months ago, I decided that I was going to stop trying to get hubby to act like I wanted him to in certain situations. I decided that I needed to pray for God to change my heart, to make me more understanding and happy with the way that our relationship was. Nothing is wrong with our relationship, but I think it's pretty common for newlyweds to have some expectations about how their married life will be, and they don't always come true : ) Since I started praying this, I have felt so much more peaceful and understanding towards my husband. God is so great! Moral of my story - I needed to look at my heart and accept things for what they are. We can't always live in a fairy tale.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Our First Married Easter
Poor Little Bandit...
Hubby and I are exhausted. Is this what it feels like to have a baby? Bandit doesn't sleep, he just wanders around with his cone at night and runs into things. I take his cone off as much as I can during the day...so he can have a little relief and eat and drink. But, if you don't watch him for a second, he is back to scratching and biting at his "hot spots" as the vet so thoughtfully referred to them. I was cleaning the house on Sunday, and Bandit was sitting on the couch with the Mr. I asked him, babe, could you please watch him while I change the sheets and put the laundry away? Sure. 15 minutes later, I go to check on Bandit (on the couch with his daddy), and I see that his hot spots are raw a bleeding again. Hubby is FIRED from watching the dog. Really, 15 minutes???!!! So, two whole days of recovery lost. Very frusterating.
We have to watch him go potty, because if we take our eyes off of him for just a second, he scratches. This morning, in my robe, I let him out to potty. It rained in Houston all day yesterday, and one side of our yard pools with water when it's this wet. Bandit went straight to the side of the yard and started rolling in the water. Soaking.Wet.Doggie. Then, when I ran for him, the little stinker ran all the way around the side of the house and dove into the water - nice. So I had to carry him in, soaking wet, with grass, dirt and water half way up my legs. Even nicer. After I dried him off, fed him special expensive food, and tried to get him to drink some water, the cone was back on and I was attempting to get ready for work. It's about 5:45 by this point of my morning. Then, I dropped my orange juice on the bathroom counter and rug. Lovely. It's a wonder I made it to work today. After I finished cleaning up my mess, and putting the bathroom rug in the washer, I look over and Bandit is on the bed, rolling around. Great. Now there is gross cream and blood on our brand new comforter. Hubby is just thrilled. I don't think it will fit in our washer, so I'm not quite sure what I am going to do with it...I guess a visit to the dry cleaner is in order.
If this is what it is like to have a baby - I AM NOT READY. I'm so sad because little Bandit is sad and miserable, and I'm tired. Just plain tired. Two full weeks of this cone is going to be a trial. Yes, I know things could be so much worse, and I'm very blessed and grateful that they are not, but MAN - this is not easy!
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 11
Day 11 -
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" Ephesians 5:22
Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands-especially by speaking evil of them to others-show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.
Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling to him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.
If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder...nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nutured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership..."as to the Lord".
Friday, April 16, 2010
Show us Your Life - Teacher Gifts!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 10
Day 10 -
"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!" Song og Solomon 1:16a
We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected your admiration of your husband, but if you're not careful, your spouse will forget why you were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letter, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse.
When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admirning them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"
Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else?
Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!
Prayer Thursday
It's time for Prayer Thursday!
If there is something that we can pray for, please let us know in the comments below, or feel free to email me - michelleannadams@yahoo.com
Thank you for your prayers!
*Please pray for Brandy's Mom, Lety. She just had surgery and we are praying that her breast cancer is gone!
*Kim is pregnant and concerned with her ultrasound results. Please pray for her baby and her family.
*Brianne just had her beautiful baby girl! Please pray for her new family.
*Mary's husband just found out that he has prostate cancer. Please keep them in your prayers.
*My Mom (Sandy) had her thyroid test this morning, and should get her results back tomorrow morning. Please pray for an easy fix and no cancer!
*My sweet friend from high school, Jackie, is pregnant with quadruplits! Please pray for her family and these little babies!
*My coworker, Wendy, has skin cancer. Please continue to pray for her and her course of treatment.
*My Daddy (Jerry) is still looking for the perfect job. His spirits are great, which I am so thankful for. Please pray for this to continue and for the perfect job for him!
*My Grandmother, Helen is depressed. She has had some health problems and is suffering from depression and loneliness. Please pray for her.
*My parents are traveling to Alabama to visit my Grandparents and Aunt. Please pray for a safe trip and return for the next week.
Please let us know if we can pray for you! I hope you are having a wonderful week!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 9
"Be swift to hear, slow to speak...." James 1:19b
We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment-negative or positive-that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart. Remember, we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more!
As you continue in your 30-day challenge, hear the Lord's admonition: "Be swift to hear".
If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices a difference, explain that you are learning to listen more--not only to God, but also to him.
One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"
Hmm...this one is a little hard for me. I listen to my husband, really I do. But he talks A LOT. Much more than the average guy. He has a lot to say about a lot of things. I am guilty of zoning out when he tells me a million stats or reasons that a player should be traded, or how a car works and why this new exciting expensive part that he wants for it will make our lives better. I try, really, I do. I don't know how I feel about the whole not saying anything for a whole day unless I'm asked. I know that's the challenge, but I don't think I'm totally comfortable with that. My husband loves me because I have ideas and opinions, and *most* of the time he is interested in them. I make an effort not to bore him to death with gossip about work, or my friends, or my trip to the nail place, grocery store, etc. I will try to listen better today, but this not talking unless spoken to is just not for me. If you are going to give it a go - good luck!
I do have a useful piece of advice that we learned in our Nearly Wed class though - if you are in a conversation and all you can think about when the other person is talking is what you are going to say next - or that you wish they would stop talking so you can talk - you are NOT being a good listener and you need to stop, regroup, and listen to what they are saying. We learned that it's okay to say, "I am so sorry, I missed part of what you said. Could you please start over?". This is said often in our house. We try to practice this on a regular basis : )
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 8
Day 8 -
How are you doing with the "30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge"? In case you've forgotten, here's the challenge:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband...to your husband, or to anyone else.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband and to someone else.
"But who can find a faithful man?" Proverbs 20:6b
Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow.
Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband's faithfulness--how he is loyal to you. let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God.
If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "be won by the conduct of their wives" 1 Peter 3:1b. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual couple.
I know that our marriage is new, but I am so very lucky that I have never questioned hubby's faithfulness to me. I need to tell him how much I appreciate this and how fortunate that I feel to have found such a wonderful man. I am looking forward to sharing that with him. My parents are now in their early 50s, and more than a few of their friends are going through divorce due to unfaithful husbands. I cannot imagine what that would feel like, and I am determined to do everything I can to keep our marriage in a wonderful, Godly place. I can see how letting hubby know how much I appreciate his faithfulness and trust would nuture that part of our marriage.
Heartlight
Monday, April 12, 2010
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 7
Day 7 -
"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! For riches certainly make themselves wings" Proverbs 23:4, 5b
"That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries" Proverbs 8:21
Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.
Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchaes - checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters.
If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Prayer Thursday
My coworker, Wendy. She just found out that she has skin cancer, and is trying to make a decision between two doctors with different treatment options. Please pray for her healing, and her decision.
My Daddy. He lost his job of over 30 years last month, and is looking for a great fit. This is a blessing in a way, he has been working out everyday, losing weight, and is off of his cholesteral medication! Please pray that God presents the perfect opportunity for him, and that he continues to be so positive during his search.
Our President and Congress. I try not to get too political on this blog, but I think that they NEED our prayers. I pray for them daily, that they will seek God's guidance while making their decisions.
My Mom. She has a growth on her thyroid, and will be undergoing tests next Wednesday and Thursday. Please pray for her doctors and great results!
Can I pray for you? Please let me know!
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 6
Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God.
Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork - a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent.
If you have a hard time finding his "creative side" understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work, and let him know that you have noticed.
Make his day - Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.
Hubby LOVES cars. I mean loves. He gets a few magazines delivered to the house each month, and reads through them immediately. His dream has always been to have a hobby car to race and mess with. Until a few months ago, I have not been really, truly supportive of this dream. Well, I'm finally invested. He has no hobbies. None. He doesn't hunt, fish, garden, play sports...nothing. So, when he told me he found a hobby car that he wanted to buy, I was less than thrilled. I mean, we do just fine, but do we really NEED three cars? Doesn't make sense on paper, not at all. But, after thinking it over, he deserves this. He deserves something to look forward to doing, that makes him happy. So, we are off to North Texas this weekend to check out what he thinks is the perfect hobby car. Wish us luck!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Easy Dinner - Turkey Stroganoff
Turkey Stroganoff
1 lb ground turkey
1/2 white onion, diced
1 can reduced fat cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup skim milk
8 oz egg noodles
Brown turkey in a large skillet with diced onions.
Boil egg noodles in large pot of water.
Pour cream of mushroom soup and milk into turkey and onions.
Simmer until desired consistency, and season to your taste. I seasoned with garlic salt, pepper and seasoned salt.
Serve mixture over egg noodles and enjoy!
We made this with some canned french green beans and a piece of toasted bread. Yummy and not too bad for you! It made enough for dinner last night, my lunch today, and another dinner this week! Wow!
Enjoy!
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 5
I LOVE day 5 of this challenge. It is something that we keep in mind in our home and marriage.
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Ephesians 4:29
Another way to describe the positive side of this "30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify", which means, "to build up". Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.
Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important with other family members.
Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.
This is right in line with what we learned in our Nearly Wed class that we took at The Met when we were engaged. The urged us to not speak ill about one another to our families. I know it's so easy to vent to your Mom, (who, if you are like me, is your best friend and advice giver), but it is really not fair to our husbands or our families. When you have a disagreement with your spouse - you make up. You say you are sorry, you hug it out, or do nice things for one another to resolve the argument. Even if you call your family and tell them that everything is fine, they do not get to experience the feelings associated with this "making up" process. They will usually become defensive of you, or for you, and will hold this situation with them. Eventually, many of these situations will build up and it will damage their relationship with your spouse. It's not fair for your spouse to have to make up with you mom or dad for something that was between the two of you. And, it's not fair for your family to have all these weird defensive feelings associated with your spouse. We take this to heart and do not share our disagreements with our families. Of course, if there is abuse, emotional or otherwise, that is an entirely different situation. Just remember - you will forgive your spouse and move on. Your family does not always have this opportunity.
In regards to making sure that your husband's family knows how much you love and respect him - remember that they raised him. They made him the man that he is today. He probably has some strong traits that they both possess - good or bad. When you speak ill of him to them, it is an attack on how they raised their son, and sometimes an attack on their personality traits as well. Just something to keep in mind before you go venting to your in laws : )
And remember, you Chose him - faults and all!
Okay, I'm off my soap box. Sorry for the long detail : )
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 4
"Let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Ephesians 4:28b
We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.
Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.
I've learned that hubby's happiness is directly related to his work performance. If he is having a great month, he is a happy guy. If he is worried about meeting his sales goal - he is stressed, crabby and not so happy. My Daddy gave me wonderful advice when hubby started his sales job almost 2 years ago. He told me to ask about his day each evening. Don't offer advice, but listen and offer encouragement. He said that outside sales is stressful, and full of rejection. After a hard day, it is so important to have positive reinforcement and praise. I've taken this to heart, and I do this each evening, even if we are upset with each other. Usually, by the time we have these little talks about his day, we forget what was such a big deal. In turn, me asking him about his day usually triggers him to ask about mine, which is really nice. We usually have these conversations over dinner, or on the phone on the way home from work. It's nice.
If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.
30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 3
I hope you had a wonderful Easter Weekend!
Welcome to Day 3 of our Husband Encouragement Challenge
"Love suffers long, and is kind" 1 Corinthians 13:4a
"My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19
This verse speaks so much to me right now, after thinking of God giving us His only Son to die for our sins. I am overcome with emotion thinking of the sacrifice he made just for us!
Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider this challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.
If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and considerations. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender.
Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind, or tender-especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude.
Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure or loved. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.
This is so true. There are times that I feel hubby doesn't give me enough attention, and I have to catch myself and remember that he is not soley responsible for my happiness. As soon as I recognize this and turn it over to God, I feel so much better. I'm trying to get better at this - I'm still (and probably always will be) a work in progress : )
Friday, April 2, 2010
Show us Your Life - Organization Tips!
Today's Show us your life at Kelly's Korner is Organization Tips!
If you don't already know, my hubby is OCD about things being neat and in their correct place. Something could be covered in dust and dirt, but as long as it is "where is belongs" he couldn't care less! That being said, I have become uber organized since we got married : )
My most organized item is our finances. I have us budgeted out pretty much to the penny throughout September of this year. I know, it sounds crazy, but this way we are able to save for the things we want to do, and don't have any unexpected things like birthday gifts, weddings, baby showers, etc. It works out great. I keep a spreadsheet that I use as our checkbook that I update every morning. It keeps me grounded and I always know exactly what we can afford, where our money is going, and how much we are saving.
My bathroom is the next most organized thing. I have baskets for everything! My stuff that I use on a regular basis lives in one basket, and my make-up lives in another. I pull these baskets out each morning when I get out of the shower, and empty out the products that I will use that day. Then, I put them back as I use them. After I'm done getting ready, I put both baskets back under the sink, and volia! a clutter free bathroom! I also have two other baskets with stuff that I don't use all the time, special lotions, perfumes, hair products...etc. These live in the closet and I rummage through them when I am looking for something.
My closet also hosts a parade of baskets. I have a basket for everything! Bracelets, Necklaces, Belts, Scarves, Pins, Sunglasses...you name it, it gets a basket! I guess you could call me a basket lady - ha ha!
